Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
