I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize