Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
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