If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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