Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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