I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
