i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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