Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.