I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Randomize
