between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
