He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
