yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
