I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Omg the world wants us to be better people
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"