i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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