You smell like a Billy Joel song
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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