I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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