you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
