It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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