i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
