the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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