I want to stick my p in your. b.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
