im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
