Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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