If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
