So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
