How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
