i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
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