I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize
