Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
