I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
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