I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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