If i could tip my vagina, i would.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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