so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
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Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
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don't judge my taste in strippers
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
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