We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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