@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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