three words: i give head
three words: not that well
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Come on in and take your pants off
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