oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
