you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
