we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
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Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
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Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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