Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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