I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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