New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize