K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.