what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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