Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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