is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
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