Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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