Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
