So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Randomize
