dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
