did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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