Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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