It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
