so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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