I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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