i just google imaged poop.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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