Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
