ugly people sure do ruin things
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
